Monday, March 24, 2014

Parenting.

As a disclosure, yes I am talking about parenting and no I am not pregnant. In this lesson of my Family class we focused on parenting. I have learned so many wonderful things and have really come away with the fact that even though I am not a parent yet I always need to be preparing to be one.
I have never realized how much goes into being a parent but besides getting married it is the top commitment you will make in your life. Parenting is not something that just comes to us, I have learned that parenting comes with lots of practice, love and help from our Heavenly Father and other family members. There has been so much I have learned from my readings in this lesson. The biggest take away I got from the beginning of this parenting lesson was the different types of how to parent. 
Brigham Young said this on parenting, "Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving them knowledge as their minds are prepared to receive it. Chastening may be necessary betimes, but parents should govern their children by faith rather than by the rod, leading kindly by good example into all truth and holiness." This quote from my textbook really stood out to me. Throughout my learning in this class I have really started to gain a sense of what kind of parenting I want to use and how important rearing children when they are small is. One thing parents need to remember is that each child is different and not every child has the same traits so each takes different types of love and patience.
There are three types of parenting that are mentioned in this lesson; coercive, permissive and authoritative. Coercive parenting defined by my textbook in chapter 10 "...is characterized by parents who deride, demean, or diminish children and teens by continually putting them in their place, putting them down, mocking them, or holding power over them via punitive or psychologically controlling means." This type of parenting really frightened me because growing up in this type of environment would really be detrimental to a child's future and relationship with their parents. Again, I am not a parent but parents are supposed to be loving and encouraging and demeaning.
Permissive parenting style "...is characterized by parents who overindulge children or neglect them by leaving them to their own devices." I think this parenting style is seen most in today's society because everyone is so busy and electronics really do take over our lives at times. I think this type of parenting is not something done on purpose, I think it happens when we get too busy and do not realize that we are letting life over take us.
The last parenting style is Authoritative. This type of parenting style if defined as, "fosters a positive emotional connection with children, provides for  regulation that places fair and consistent limits on child behavior, and allows for reasonable child autonomy in decision making." I think this type of parenting is ideal because really you are teaching by example and helping your children become the people Heavenly Father has set them out to be. This type of parenting includes limits and love, two things the other types were lacking. Parents are to love their children unconditionally but give them limits on what they can and cannot do. Within limits I have learned that giving children options of what they can do within the limits you set shows them they still have their own choice but you set the guideline.
There is so much more I have learned but I do not want to bore everyone with what I found useful and I thought it was very interesting and thought provoking to know the different types of parenting styles.
In this lesson I also learned a lot about the beauties of mother and father hood. There was a lot of good information in both chapters but I just want to share a couple of things I thought were interesting.
Elder Ballard said this on motherhood, "There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family.... What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." I feel like this quote really entails all things in being a parent. I am so very excited to be a mom and through this chapter I have learned that it is exhausting and tiring but to be the best you can, it takes patience and reliance on the Lord.
I really enjoyed the chapter on fatherhood because this is something I shared with my husband and how we can work together in our parenting when we have children. What really stood out to be was the topic of the father presiding over the household like it says in The Proclamation. The father is to preside in the house in both a spiritual and financial way. The father uses his gift of the priesthood to lead his family and guide his children in the right ways to live. He also is to provide for his family financially and do his part to contribute. The chapter also talks about the father is a partner with many different parts of their child's life. They partner with the mother, the child and others in the child's life to really be a well rounded part to their child.
Being a parent is not easy but it sure seems worth it! I think parents have the best job but also have to work together to make life work. Heavenly Father loves and encourages the family and will help all of us who seek to have that. I feel that as we listen to words of the prophets and follow the counsel of the scriptures and The Proclamation we can set out to be the best parents for our children.
My Parents!
I could not finish this post without putting in a little blurb about my parents. I truly am blessed to have the parents I do. I have learned a lot from both and they have taught me how to become a better person. I really loved that both my mom and dad taught me and reared me the best they could but really let me make my decisions and helped me learn along the way. I have learned so much for them. My mom is my best friend and my dad is hero. I would not be the person I am today without them. Thanks mom and dad for all you do, I sure love you!

I am so glad I am learning all of these things about being a parent and I cannot wait to learn and grow as a parent with my husband someday when we have children of our own.

My amazing parents!
Here is a great Mormon Message on Fatherhood and how this father really relies on his Father in Heaven to help him with his work each day. We truly have to remember that we have the roles we do as parents because of Heavenly Father. This is also an adorable video on the joys and duties of being a father.


Here is a great Mormon Message on the partnership between mothers and Heavenly Father. I think motherhood is the best job on earth and I cannot wait to be one someday, but I do know that I will need Heavenly Fathers help to guide me to being the best mother I can be.


Thanks for reading! Happy day & Happy March!

3 comments:

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  2. It has been a pleasure to be your parents, remember it takes a village and then sometimes we even learn a thing or two from our kids. Love you

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