Dating.

Now my title for this post may seem a little odd because I am married but this past week in my class we talked choosing a spouse and courting. Now let me tell you, courting NEVER stops, not even after you are married. I learned so much about the importance of dating and cannot wait to share that with you. Before I get to that, I want to touch on dating because a lot of my readings were on proper courtship before marriage.

Before I dated my husband, I did not know about all of the advice from the apostles but I am sure glad I have learned them. In my readings I learned about hanging out vs. dating, there is actually a talk by Dallin H. Oaks titled, "Dating versus Hanging Out" that I recommend everyone to read, married, dating or single because it is great advice for you or for your kids. You can access the talk here. It is not terribly long but gives great advice. In this talk Elder Oaks talks about how hanging out is not how you find a spouse, that is done through dating.

There is also the preconceived notion that men need to spend a ton a money on dates, that is false! A date can be as much as a walk around the park. My first date with my husband was just that and let me tell you it was the funniest thing! I believe that the little things is where you start to fall in love, the walks, the drives and talks that is how you get to know someone, not at a party or in a plane, or some other type of extravagant get together. My most cherish dating moments with my husband were when we would just sit and talk for hours or go on adventures and walks on beautiful summer Idaho nights.

So going back to what I talked about in the beginning, courting after marriage. I did not realize how important that is, but it most definitely is. Dates after marriage are a time where couples can have time with one another without distractions and worries from the worlds. Many apostles have said that specific set times for dates are key so both people know that that time is set for you two to go on a date together and not be interrupted by chores, errands, kids, family, school etc. These continued dates do not have to cost money or be long and extravagant. Actually today my husband and I decided to venture outside while it was warm and go for a great little walk, it was short (thanks to the lovely Rexburg wind) but it was just us enjoying one another. I cherish all of these small moments because this is where we get to just hang out, chat, and keep falling in love. I bet most of you are gagging at all the mushiness but I have realized that these great little dates and time together are so important when life gets in the way. My husband and I, since reading this lesson have committed to more dates and have a lot of fun just doing fun, inexpensive things to escape from our busy lives.

Also, during my group chat this week we all talked about the dating advice, to find a spouse, we learned and how we cannot really apply that to our lives, because we are already married but how we can apply it to our children's lives. I think the best way to do this is talk with our spouse often about how you want to teach your kids proper dating and when the right time to start. My husband and I have talked a lot, and still have lots to talk about but we know that we want our kids to not serious date in high school. It really is not something important, I thought it had to be done, but really the time spent with friends and in group settings of dates is when you get to know people at that age and at an appropriate level. We will be taking the great the advice from the apostles and from our experiences to teach our kids the exciting life of dating, but set guidelines along the way. Okay, so here is another plug to dating advice from apostles, I really learned a lot but especially loved President Monson's cute story at the end about kissing. The link is here, I hope you like it!

I know I have already recommended a couple talks to read but this one is short and sweet and talks about becoming a quality person and not worrying about those imperfections but being the best person for you and meeting that best person that fits you. It is very sweet and really helps you come out of this bubble of having to perfect. Here is the link, enjoy!

I am so sorry if I seemed to go off on a rant but I have just been so fascinated by this lesson and have learned that as we follow the guidelines set with love by our Heavenly Father that we may be able to find our eternal companion and teach our children through example on how to find theirs. I am grateful for my husband and how we dated and got to know one another. I hope you all enjoyed this little plug on dating!

This picture was taken on Valentine's Day when Kendall and I played at an Arcade (our favorite dates.) This is me winning the Jack Pot at our favorite game, it is the little small things that bring memories that really make these dates great to me! 

Happy Day and Happy Tuesday!

Commitment.

This week for our little family chats, I will be talking about our commitment towards each other and our families and helping each other. This week in my family class we focused a lot on counsels and intimacy between couples.
Lets talk about intimacy first and get that "awkward" topic out of the way. Now I promise I will not go into big details because as it is said in the church many times, the intimate details that happen between a couple stay between them. I am learning a lot on the sacredness of this and know that this subject is something that I keep sacred between my husband and I. In my textbook this week, it talked a lot about how when couples are more intimate they are a lot more happy. So bottom line, do not let your intimate life go away because it really is a true blessing and when done within the seals of temple marriage, Heavenly Father really blesses you with great experiences with your spouse.
The topic of intimacy also leads to equal partnership, because I feel like that subject is a big part of becoming equal because that is about becoming one. "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" really points out that a husband and wife need to help each other with their different roles. I touched on this a few weeks ago but in the topic of my class we talked more about how important it is.
What really caught my attention during the lesson was equality. There is so much talk especially in the last few years of women being equal to men and women's rights. Now the church does not stand for inequality but a man and woman have their specific roles that make their relationship equal. The Proclamation plainly states, "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." It does not get any clearer then stated right here by the presidency of the church through revelation. The roles between a man and wife are clear but they are to help each other in all of their duties. 
I am so grateful that I was able to have this lesson because the influences of the media and the world today are telling me that I should be getting a job and making my own money and not raising my family. I cannot explain to you how excited I am to one day be a mom and to help my husband with this business as he helps shape our children into godly people. 
The teachings from this lesson taught me a lot about how to nourish my marriage and to also remember to cherish my husband as he cherish's me.Don't dwell on each other's imperfections but enjoy them and your perfections and help each other grow and to have fun. As we enjoy each other's company and help one another with our duties our love can grow and as we constantly include Heavenly Father in our lives, he will guide us to great spouses, parents and people. 
I am excited for Kendall and I to start our little family in years to come and to become parents but I am also grateful for this time where we can strengthen our relationship and learn how to become godly parents. 

Valentine's Day was this weekend that is when couples usually show a lot more gestures of love than usual. I see that holiday as a reminded to show your loved one how much you appreciate and cherish them all the time, not just that day.

Side note: Most of you probably know that I love Duck Dynasty but here is a great picture. Even Phil and Kay know how sacred marriage is, to say the least this picture made my day!

Happy Day & Happy Monday! Also... Happy February!

I do.

This week in my family class we talked all about marriage. Call me weird but I was so excited because Kendall and I are newly married and I feel like I can always learn so much more.

I have learned so much about the meaning of marriage and that your life is no longer about you, it is about the person you fell deeply in love and cherish each day. Kendall and I made the decision to spend more time on each other than other distractions and let me tell you... we laugh and goof around so much more. The power of prayer and the gospel in our lives as we strive to put each other first really is a blessing. Marriage is hard but it truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Most of you have heard mine and Kendall's story way too many times so I will skip that and about our sealing because that is also in a past post, but today I talk on marriage.

This is more of what I am learning from my class than personal experience but one thing I have grown stronger in testimony about is how great it is Kendall and I are sealed in the Mormon Temple. What a blessing that was for the two of us because now he is stuck with me for not just this life but forever ... so that is pretty great!

In President Kimball's talk he speaks about the reality that there is no "soul mate" out there for us because those do not exist. We are to seek out a person who holds the standards of the church and fits what we are looking for in a spouse.

My textbook for my Family class, "Successful Marriages and Families" gave a great explanation how to nurture the marriage. The main point I learned was to not criticize. Criticism is a key factor to a down fall in a marriage. The textbook listed six "foundational processes" to a healthy marriage. Those six are: "personal commitment to the marriage covenant, love and friendship, positive interaction, accepting influence from one's spouse, respectfully handle differences and solve problems, and continuing courtship through the years." I took particular attention to the last one because I was one of those many people who thought dating stopped at marriage, but that is not true. President David O. McKay said, "I should like to urge continued courtship, and apply this to grown people. Too many couples have come to the altar of marriage looking upon the marriage ceremony as the end of courtship instead of the beginning of an eternal courtship."

The continued act of courting is important to keep the spark between the marriage alive. I have learned quite a bit from the talks and text this week. One talk we read was by Elder David A. Bednar called "Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan." Elder Bednar talks greatly about the importance of an eternal marriage and how the union of a man and woman is essential to the plan of happiness. In one part of his talk Elder Bednar said, "By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fulness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other. “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11; italics added)." I really enjoyed reading this because it proved to me even more how important marriage between a MAN and WOMAN is essential. The bonds of marriage bring two people closer together and as one unit they help each other in their divine roles. 

The text also mentioned that married people are generally happier and live healthier longer lives than those who are single or divorced. This made me so happy because maybe I will live a long long time! It is also made me see why the apostles and their wives usually live so long, because they are living a life of happiness and are bound for eternity to their husband or wife.

This week's lesson on marriage and the importance of it really has taught me that I have embarked on this eternal journey with Kendall and how important it is that I fill my full potential as a wife. If you are interested in another great talk read "Oneness in Marriage" by President Spencer W. Kimball.

It also being Fast Sunday I would like to bare my testimony on the sacredness and joy of marriage because I say it a lot better typed then in person. I know that marriage is ordained of God and when sealed together in the temple a couple is bond for all time in eternity. Within the bonds of marriage the husband and wife are to keep a healthy intimate marriage but like President Kimball said in his talk, those details in a marriage are to stay between the husband and wife and no one else. He also said that we are to cleave to spouses and to no one else. I think this is very hard for new couples because we are all used to having our parents and friends to talk to. The important part to remember is that we are sealed to our spouses now and our decisions are to be made with them and no one else.

I know that my marriage depends on myself and Kendall and my main focus on my husband and family. I know that through my devotion to the gospel and my marriage and through the help of God and the Holy Ghost that I can have a wonderful marriage one that will have challenges but happiness. I know this gospel is true and we were put on this earth to marry to become eternal families. I love this gospel and know that it is true and eternal marriage is essential to the plan of happiness.

Happy Sunday and happy February!