I have learned so much about the meaning of marriage and that your life is no longer about you, it is about the person you fell deeply in love and cherish each day. Kendall and I made the decision to spend more time on each other than other distractions and let me tell you... we laugh and goof around so much more. The power of prayer and the gospel in our lives as we strive to put each other first really is a blessing. Marriage is hard but it truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Most of you have heard mine and Kendall's story way too many times so I will skip that and about our sealing because that is also in a past post, but today I talk on marriage.
This is more of what I am learning from my class than personal experience but one thing I have grown stronger in testimony about is how great it is Kendall and I are sealed in the Mormon Temple. What a blessing that was for the two of us because now he is stuck with me for not just this life but forever ... so that is pretty great!
In President Kimball's talk he speaks about the reality that there is no "soul mate" out there for us because those do not exist. We are to seek out a person who holds the standards of the church and fits what we are looking for in a spouse.
My textbook for my Family class, "Successful Marriages and Families" gave a great explanation how to nurture the marriage. The main point I learned was to not criticize. Criticism is a key factor to a down fall in a marriage. The textbook listed six "foundational processes" to a healthy marriage. Those six are: "personal commitment to the marriage covenant, love and friendship, positive interaction, accepting influence from one's spouse, respectfully handle differences and solve problems, and continuing courtship through the years." I took particular attention to the last one because I was one of those many people who thought dating stopped at marriage, but that is not true. President David O. McKay said, "I should like to urge continued courtship, and apply this to grown people. Too many couples have come to the altar of marriage looking upon the marriage ceremony as the end of courtship instead of the beginning of an eternal courtship."
The continued act of courting is important to keep the spark between the marriage alive. I have learned quite a bit from the talks and text this week. One talk we read was by Elder David A. Bednar called "Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan." Elder Bednar talks greatly about the importance of an eternal marriage and how the union of a man and woman is essential to the plan of happiness. In one part of his talk Elder Bednar said, "By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fulness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other. “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11; italics added)." I really enjoyed reading this because it proved to me even more how important marriage between a MAN and WOMAN is essential. The bonds of marriage bring two people closer together and as one unit they help each other in their divine roles.
The text also mentioned that married people are generally happier and live healthier longer lives than those who are single or divorced. This made me so happy because maybe I will live a long long time! It is also made me see why the apostles and their wives usually live so long, because they are living a life of happiness and are bound for eternity to their husband or wife.
This week's lesson on marriage and the importance of it really has taught me that I have embarked on this eternal journey with Kendall and how important it is that I fill my full potential as a wife. If you are interested in another great talk read "Oneness in Marriage" by President Spencer W. Kimball.
It also being Fast Sunday I would like to bare my testimony on the sacredness and joy of marriage because I say it a lot better typed then in person. I know that marriage is ordained of God and when sealed together in the temple a couple is bond for all time in eternity. Within the bonds of marriage the husband and wife are to keep a healthy intimate marriage but like President Kimball said in his talk, those details in a marriage are to stay between the husband and wife and no one else. He also said that we are to cleave to spouses and to no one else. I think this is very hard for new couples because we are all used to having our parents and friends to talk to. The important part to remember is that we are sealed to our spouses now and our decisions are to be made with them and no one else.
I know that my marriage depends on myself and Kendall and my main focus on my husband and family. I know that through my devotion to the gospel and my marriage and through the help of God and the Holy Ghost that I can have a wonderful marriage one that will have challenges but happiness. I know this gospel is true and we were put on this earth to marry to become eternal families. I love this gospel and know that it is true and eternal marriage is essential to the plan of happiness.
Happy Sunday and happy February!
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