Dating.

Now my title for this post may seem a little odd because I am married but this past week in my class we talked choosing a spouse and courting. Now let me tell you, courting NEVER stops, not even after you are married. I learned so much about the importance of dating and cannot wait to share that with you. Before I get to that, I want to touch on dating because a lot of my readings were on proper courtship before marriage.

Before I dated my husband, I did not know about all of the advice from the apostles but I am sure glad I have learned them. In my readings I learned about hanging out vs. dating, there is actually a talk by Dallin H. Oaks titled, "Dating versus Hanging Out" that I recommend everyone to read, married, dating or single because it is great advice for you or for your kids. You can access the talk here. It is not terribly long but gives great advice. In this talk Elder Oaks talks about how hanging out is not how you find a spouse, that is done through dating.

There is also the preconceived notion that men need to spend a ton a money on dates, that is false! A date can be as much as a walk around the park. My first date with my husband was just that and let me tell you it was the funniest thing! I believe that the little things is where you start to fall in love, the walks, the drives and talks that is how you get to know someone, not at a party or in a plane, or some other type of extravagant get together. My most cherish dating moments with my husband were when we would just sit and talk for hours or go on adventures and walks on beautiful summer Idaho nights.

So going back to what I talked about in the beginning, courting after marriage. I did not realize how important that is, but it most definitely is. Dates after marriage are a time where couples can have time with one another without distractions and worries from the worlds. Many apostles have said that specific set times for dates are key so both people know that that time is set for you two to go on a date together and not be interrupted by chores, errands, kids, family, school etc. These continued dates do not have to cost money or be long and extravagant. Actually today my husband and I decided to venture outside while it was warm and go for a great little walk, it was short (thanks to the lovely Rexburg wind) but it was just us enjoying one another. I cherish all of these small moments because this is where we get to just hang out, chat, and keep falling in love. I bet most of you are gagging at all the mushiness but I have realized that these great little dates and time together are so important when life gets in the way. My husband and I, since reading this lesson have committed to more dates and have a lot of fun just doing fun, inexpensive things to escape from our busy lives.

Also, during my group chat this week we all talked about the dating advice, to find a spouse, we learned and how we cannot really apply that to our lives, because we are already married but how we can apply it to our children's lives. I think the best way to do this is talk with our spouse often about how you want to teach your kids proper dating and when the right time to start. My husband and I have talked a lot, and still have lots to talk about but we know that we want our kids to not serious date in high school. It really is not something important, I thought it had to be done, but really the time spent with friends and in group settings of dates is when you get to know people at that age and at an appropriate level. We will be taking the great the advice from the apostles and from our experiences to teach our kids the exciting life of dating, but set guidelines along the way. Okay, so here is another plug to dating advice from apostles, I really learned a lot but especially loved President Monson's cute story at the end about kissing. The link is here, I hope you like it!

I know I have already recommended a couple talks to read but this one is short and sweet and talks about becoming a quality person and not worrying about those imperfections but being the best person for you and meeting that best person that fits you. It is very sweet and really helps you come out of this bubble of having to perfect. Here is the link, enjoy!

I am so sorry if I seemed to go off on a rant but I have just been so fascinated by this lesson and have learned that as we follow the guidelines set with love by our Heavenly Father that we may be able to find our eternal companion and teach our children through example on how to find theirs. I am grateful for my husband and how we dated and got to know one another. I hope you all enjoyed this little plug on dating!

This picture was taken on Valentine's Day when Kendall and I played at an Arcade (our favorite dates.) This is me winning the Jack Pot at our favorite game, it is the little small things that bring memories that really make these dates great to me! 

Happy Day and Happy Tuesday!